Walking towards a healthy relationships: new way to relational health

Walking towards a healthy relationships: new way to relational health. Relationships are the core of the human existence. Starting a new relationship usually brings great excitement and high expectations. Emotions are at a peak, life is rosy and we want the relationship and the intensity to last forever. However, differences resulting in conflict occur at some time in every one of the relationships that are important to us. Being able to handle conflict and deal with differences is important in establishing healthy relationships. Our relationships actually become stronger once we are able to resolve these differences.

What is a fulfilling relationship?

Different people have different definitions of what a fulfilling, intimate relationship means for them. Most of us agree on some central key points.

Recurring arguments that are never resolved Abandonment of joint activities – just living parallel lives. Preoccupation with interests and activities outside the relationship, leading to one partner feeling neglected Lying to each other often Feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness

Complaints of loss of feeling – one or both partner/s speak of no longer being in love. Trying to change each other Getting jealous and possessive Becoming emotionally and/or sexually involved with a person outside the relationship. Physical assault, Sexual assault, Psychological/emotional/verbal abuse, Social abuse, Economic abuse

 RELATIONSHIP BUSTERS

1. Spending quality time together doing things that are mutually fulfilling as well as quality time apart doing what is important to you individually.
2. Feel safe communicating personal needs and wants. Set aside time to discuss issues relevant to you as a couple or each of you individually.
3. Try to tell your partner exactly what you are feeling and thinking, even if it might upset him or her.
4. Listen to your partner, put aside your own thoughts for the time being, and try to understand his or her intentions, needs and wants.
5. Don’t blame or criticize your partner while discussing concerns.

1. Try to find solutions that are okay for both of you.
2. Be supportive; do not make judgments when your partner makes mistakes, or does things differently from how you would do them.
3. Show appreciation when your partner does something for you.
4. Communicate your needs rather than waiting for your partner to try to guess what is going on with you.
5. Respect each other’s differences even if you disagree on important issues and try to turn your differences into fair compromise.
6. Honour each other’s family ties and friendships. While it’s important to set aside time for family and friends it’s also important to maintain healthy boundaries between you and your partner as a unit apart from other close relationships.
7. Balance friendship and romance in your relationship to make it healthy.
8. Maintaining laughter, having a sense of humour, with your partner pumps oxygen into the relationship.

Bringing a change in relationship

• Both you and your partner to write down the five qualities/needs that are most important for him/her in a relationship.
• Have a look and see which of the needs you can do something about, and which needs negotiation
• Commit yourself to making the changes you need to make.
• One small change can sometimes make a difference to a lot of big things.

In life’s journey there are often bumps, which are difficult to cross alone. If your relationship has some of the unhealthy signs listed above, it can be beneficial to consider consulting a Family therapist/Clinical Psychologist who can help you to develop new ways of managing conflict and difference and to make decisions about the future directions for your relationship.

CONCLUSION

A true relationship is two un perfect people refusing to give up on each other…. 😊

                                                                

Dr. Mustafa Nadeem Kirmani                   Haleemunnissa S.
Associate Professor & Head M.Phil                    Asstistant  Professor
Department of Clinical Psychology,                Dept of Clinical Psychology,
Faculty of Behavioral Sciences,               JSS Medical College & Hospital, Mysore
SGT University, Gurgaon, Haryana.                         ph: 08088588415
Dr.mnkirmani@sgtuniversity.org
Ph: 08295320920/08267871886