Perimenopause - a turbulent period among women

Perimenopause a turbulent period among women, which is a transition period before the “full stop – menopause”. There is a need to create awareness among women as they tend to forget about their own desires and wishes leading to frustrations.

Kamala, 45 years working women from Bangalore. A lovely mother, beautiful wife and caring daughter and pleasant coworker, since past year she has been showing irritability a lot. Her family, friends and colleagues all are wondering what has happened to this soft creature of God? At times she is normal as she used to be but suddenly her mood fluctuates and she becomes irritable. After sometime, she understands what has happened and feels bad about it. This roller coaster ride makes her feel sad and embarrassed. she feels she is not the same person anymore and feels that something has come on her. She hates herself, her body, her face, her hair and the whole person.

This is not a story of only Kamala but many women who are in this age group undergoes some of Kamala’s issues and at times feels the same. Most of the time, women tend to believe that they have some other physical ailment and go for doctor shopping. By the time they reach the gynecologist they would have wasted at least a year. Some women don’t do that but would be suffering silently and making others also to suffer with them.

What is perimenopause?

In fact, literature says the age group of women who are undergoing perimenopausal symptoms have come down to 35 + years. Our mothers and grandmothers would have faced menopausal symptoms well after 55 years of their life. But due to fast pace in the life, life style and stress makes women vulnerable to this turbulence faster. It has been defined variously. Peri means around or near in Greek word, so it means around menopause or near menopause. For easy understanding perimenopause is a transition period before the “full stop – menopause”.

Also Read: Bleeding after Menopause could be Endometrial Cancer.

This transition varies greatly from one woman to the next. Some may have it only for few months, whereas others may have it for more than 2 years, in few extreme cases it may be more than 5 years too. The average duration is roughly three to four years. But for some unfortunate women it may extend up to ten years too.

The common symptoms are hot flush, irritability, hair fall, mood fluctuations, bloated feeling accompanied by erratic menstrual cycle feelings of sadness, lack of motivation, anxiety, aggressiveness, difficulty in concentration and fatigue. At times women may experience either heavy bleeding or only spotting’s. some women perceive extreme hot flashes, some may have heavy periods and many not have no bothersome symptoms. For few, periods may end abruptly for others it is like a “Katcha road” before the turning point.

When the symptoms of perimenopause are discussed here, we need to pay attention to the other changes happening at 40’s in a women’s life too. Most of the time, in this age group women, would be facing the following changes in their life – such as children leaving home for higher studies – leading to empty nest syndrome, changes in career, illness and subsequent death of parents and relatives and changes in spousal relationship – specifically in Indian scenario women tend to feel that once they reach 40’s their life is done, they tend to forget about their own desires and wishes leading to frustrations.

Management of perimenopause:

There is a need to distinguish whether the symptoms are because of perimenopause or because of the above-mentioned midlife stresses before moving ahead to discuss about how a woman in perimenopausal state can cope with it. Most of the symptoms listed above can be managed by lifestyle changes.

1. Positive psychology has an answer for this. Incorporating Holistic wellness and mindfulness in life would bring a change for most of the symptoms.

2. Exercising regularly helps in creating feel good hormone.Certain hormones are known to help promote positive feelings, including happiness and pleasure. They are called as feel good hormone, for example when we exercise endorphins gets released in our body. Endorphins are body’s natural pain reliever. So, a simple activity like a 30-minute walk or jogging increased this natural pain reliever and produces a positive response to the discomfort felt.

3. Women need to create a balance between their work, family and taking care of their own need. This improves the self confidence in them. As mentioned earlier Indian women tend to sacrifice everything for the family. Nothing wrong in it but if they feel low in confidence and if it affects their self-esteem then the suggestion is to balance their life keeping all commitments as well as taking care of their wishes too.

4. Balance can be maintained by allocating time for self. Half an hour for a walk, reaching out to childhood friends and hitting a conversation, meeting a friend over a coffee or joining a friend for a walk, grooming self and taking up hobbies are few suggestions to create balance between self and the world. These coping mechanisms helps to face the challenges – the turbulence and helps in maintaining self-confidence and increases self-esteem.

5. My suggestion is “break this myth”. While reading this few may think, oh these are for others not for me. It is not allowed in my community – in my city – in my circle. Nobody is restricting women as long as your actions are positive. I am remembering a song from an old Tamil movie by late director Balachander featuring late actor Sujatha. The lyrics goes like this “there is no fence for the air, no lid for the sea…” It is a very powerful song by late poet Kannadasan. Try to identify the you and work on creating an image and build your confidence. This definitely helps in facing the challenges of the turbulence.

6. Accept the fact of aging. It is difficult in a society where importance is given for youthfulness and beauty. Perimenopausal women often goes through this question in their mind. Accept your age, accept the body is aging. No need to pretend that you are still young and to maintain that image trying several beauty recipes from the advertisements. Age gracefully the beauty of you is in your heart in your behavior in you not in the physical features. This acceptance boosts positivity a lot.

7. Seek support from friends and family. Midlife women often dwell on meaning of life as this is common for both men and women in midlife. It is little higher in women due to perimenopausal hormonal changes. If interested then try to focus on spirituality, if not try to involve yourself in social awareness activities. All these will give you some answers not the whole though.

8. Take support from a psychologist for a counseling. If trying by yourself is not helping may be seeking a support from a psychologist for a counseling would be helpful. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about reaching out for help. Perimenopause is a common turbulent state among women in midlife. Appropriate self-help and help from an expert relief the turbulence in your mind.