“The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that’s the essence of inhumanity.” – George Bernard Shaw 

Many taboo topics in India suffer this fate; and this is precisely why they deserve a conversation. To deny someone the chance to even voice their concerns or problems without judgement or shame is deeply hurtful. The problem compounds when the issue is such, that the sufferer is shamed into silence, knowing that voiced concerns will only pull them down. Even non conformism gives one a burst of confidence, courage and reaffirms their beliefs; a person stands stronger, more righteously, when they have picked their side. Alas, ignorance yields not even this fruit.

Incontinence is one such problem; like the Mind Flayer, it operates from the shadows and reduces a person into a shell of themselves. You may like to think of the above reference as hyperbole, but there is a modicum of truth to it. We have heard first-hand stories of hundreds of individuals who radically changed their lives due to the onset of incontinence, and then again after refusing to confront it.

I believe incontinence should be an issue primed for discussion due to the following 3 points:

1. Key-stone problem:  We refer to incontinence as a key-stone problem, i.e: it can cause a myriad ancillary issue if left unaddressed. A key issue amongst them is depression. You can understand why a person would feel deeply ashamed to even bring this topic up. Incontinence also affects nightly sleep cycles; and not getting enough REM sleep is another key-stone problem, leading to a depressed immune system, lowered vitality and reduced energy.

2. Reduced Movement: One of the first things that happen in incontinence, is that the sufferer reduces his locii of movement. Due to their dependence on the toilet, they immediately stop undertaking long journeys, and even reduce their time spent in transit. All of this has a profound impact on one’s professional and personal life. We have spoken to numerous individuals who change their offices, who make a habit of stopping at fixed restaurants or relative’s homes in the middle of a commute.

Family events, friends’ meets are all left by the wayside. And usually, the family is completely in the dark about it. They have no idea as to why such deep changes are taking place within an individual, but they cope out of deference or discomfort. How can a 45-year-old gentleman bring up the topic of soiled underwear with his 60-year-old mother? (The conversation can go both ways).

TIP: A great sign to watch for, is if someone has a habit of rushing to the washroom as soon as they enter a home, especially after punching the bell multiple times. It shows an urgency beyond normal levels.

3. Psychologically regressive: Learning to maintain control over our bowels is one of the most fundamental steps in human development. To lose this very control is a deeply regressive step; sufferers usually go to comical lengths to avoid confronting the issue. Every excuse, from “mera problem frequent urination ka hai bhai”, to “beta, yeh toh diabetes ke saath hota hi hai”, is laid down. To confront incontinence is to confront this fundamental lack of control, and people love giving up control yes?

“No man is fit to command others that cannot command himself” – William Penn. And thus, it is only human to shirk away from this cognitive burden, and to let it decay in one’s subconscious as other facets of your personality deteriorate alongside. Thus, with the presence of these major issues, the discussion of incontinence should be a high priority for a family. Almost all cases of successful adult diaper adoption were where the family got overtly involved in the process. The sustained efforts of kids, grandkids and daughters-in-law finally yield results.

There exist tens of millions of people in India who are silently suffering in shame. They cannot even give a name to their affliction; instead they blame themselves and their condition. However, there is no need for one to keep living a life like this. If a senior is prescribed a knee-brace, I see no backlash from them, as society understands this condition. If our bowel is given such importance and priority in our minds, if its control is something so fundamentally paramount to us being in control as adults, it should be easy for us to see the damage incontinence can cause.

To avoid causing this damage in the lives of those who we love should be a strong enough reason for us to take up this fight! Amongst all our users, there remains a story at the forefront of my mind: A Delhi resident, who stays alone at the age of 83, took it upon herself to change the interiors of her house. She designed it herself and supervised the entire process. Why?? Because she acknowledged that incontinence was an issue she was facing and actively sought solutions for it and arrived at the usage of adult diapers.

This had so radically transformed her life, that she deemed that her house should change to match her mind-set. No longer did she want to look upon the same colored walls, and the same damn curtains. Her life had changed, and her house should too. The terrible downside of incontinence can be easily remedied by looking at the other side; and the numerous stories of users who came out of the Mind Flayer’s shadow and remembered how life is right side-up! If a single conversation is what stops this awesome transformation, then shame upon us for not talking.

Kartik Johari
Vice President, Nobel Hygiene

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In the categories of taboo, perhaps the most mistreated ones are the ignored ones. Even the most vilified are dignified with having their existence recognized. As the adage notes, “It is better to be hated than ignored”, to be ignored, and thus deemed inconsequential, does far more damage than simply being hated. Incontinence, a.k.a, loss of bowel control, is one such taboo that doesn’t receive the infamy that is due.

Most taboos are thought to be useful, namely in two ways. One, that it unites the sections of one clan; and two, it helps avoiding certain behaviours and practices that are unhygienic or to the detriment of the clan. A great modern-day example is “washing hands after using the bathroom,” not to do so, is simply unacceptable. However, taboos are notorious for not keeping up with our accelerating times. The modern era is forcing such conversations, and it’s best if we evolve with the times.

The taboos around cleanliness are numerous, and this is why incontinence is also tough to resolve. According to the Moral Foundations Theory, sanctity or purity, is one of six foundational morals, existing across all humans. That is, our need as humans to remain clean and in clean surroundings is a basic foundation on which the mind works. Incontinence goes against this very core moral and is thus harder to address as compared to hair-loss, another taboo subject.

Furthermore, one of our core developmental milestones is the ability to control our own bowel. It is the time a baby transitions into a child; when we feel that someone is in charge of their faculties and behaviour. To lose this control in old age deeply impacts anyone. It is a regressive step, and one that completely hamstrings a person’s ability to travel. Furthermore, due to it being a taboo, soiling oneself as an adult leads to a steep drop in self-esteem coupled with societal embarrassment.

Resultantly, incontinence leads to a radical change in the sufferer’s behaviour. They stop interacting and reduce their locus of movement. The lack of understanding and societal pressure leads to the onset of depression and the breaking of nightly sleep cycles. Both of these issues have a downwards-spiralling effect, namely, the sufferer gets stuck in a descending loop, each condition feeding into the other creating compounding damage. Additionally, most sufferers are vehemently opposed to wearing diapers, as they see it as a concession to their impediment. No one wishes to confront the loss of control; especially when it concerns one’s body’s core functioning. So, the issue remains masked. Whether it is a “frequent urination” problem, or “diabetes-wala” issue, or a “small-bladder” issue; people make-up myriad supporting reasons to justify their control or lack of control over their bladder, insisting till the end that they do not need diapers.

There is another damaged party in this affair; i.e: the entire family unit. Due to the descent of the sufferer’s condition, the entire family is usually affected. Moreover, the caretaker of the sufferer gets shackled into the same existence, with reduced mobility as the sufferer continues to increase their dependency on the caregiver, as their physical condition continues to deteriorate. Plus, as the issue is one of purity, the family’s endurance in the matter is quite limited. Anything is acquiesced to, to keep the house clean and humane; anything apart from adult-diapers.

However, adult diapers should be seen as a technological boon, a tool that wasn’t available to the generations of past. A clearer comparison is with knee-braces. When an aging person is asked to wear knee-braces, there is literally no backlash from the patient. If the knees are weak, they must be reinforced, simple! The same is with many of old age’s hues, whether bi-focal glasses, or pace-makers.

Wrinkle-removing creams are not even an essential product, but are a multi-million dollar industry as our population deals with living longer and healthier. Tools now exist to ease our existence; unfortunately, diapers are not accorded the same respect.

So, how can we change things? As with all taboos, an honest discussion is the first and only prescription. There are numerous studies (National Institute on Aging (NIA) showing the prevalence of falls in the elderly, especially as they rush to the bathroom. An adult diaper should be viewed as an insurance, something to prevent accidents and to exert control into an individual’s life. Most adult-diaper adoption happens when the family or caregivers push the sufferers into using the product. The first few days are the hardest. You will face strong resistance at diaper number 3, the 3’rd day of usage and the 3’rd week of usage. Guard against them, and keep on going through. The freedom and vitality that awaits on the other side is unimaginable.

The least we can strive for, for all such taboo subjects, is to alleviate the pressure and damage extended onto the community that is disadvantaged. At the very least, there are tools available to solve for these issues, a crutch that is not extended to other taboo subjects.

I personally look forward to the day that an ailing bladder doesn’t stop someone’s life in their tracks. Taboos have helped humanity survive so far; but as husks must be shed, so must certain taboos be dropped by the wayside. There exists no room in the world for shackling someone, simply due to the vagaries of life. The silver population deserves this simple courtesy from all of us. And we start by giving it a name and acknowledging its presence.

Kartik Johari –Vice President

Nobel Hygiene, Mumbai

The post Incontinence – The taboo no one speaks about appeared first on Health Vision.

Donate a diaper for the elderly.Each diaper will help an elderly person live a day with dignity without the shame and stigma often attached to incontinence.

Bangalore: Friends, the leading adult diaper brand, owned by Nobel Hygiene joined hands with Donate Kart- a transparent online donation platform for charities for the popular annual “Daanutsav” to start a diaper donation campaign for four old age homes across India to help them deal with incontinence.

Daanutsav is India’s largest donation drive, conducted autonomously and independently, by hundreds of volunteer groups and organizations across the country. This was the first time such an initiative has been taken up for this age group for the donation drive and was heralded by Nobel Hygiene. The old age homes who would receive the diapers would include Good Samaritans India, Omashram, The Second Chance Trust and The Earth Saviours Foundation. Each diaper will help an elderly person live a day with dignity without the shame and stigma often attached to incontinence.

Incontinence is a rarely spoken about within this age group. It has a massive physical, social and psychological impact; not just on the patients but the whole family. It is yet not addressed as an ailment itself but as a side effect of a main illness. The social stigma around the subject and the reluctance of the patients and their families to address incontinence compounds the stress.

Once acknowledged, the patient and care givers devise their own ways to deal with it which involves rubber sheets, to being chained to the bathroom. Wearing a diaper is a last resort and is a significant stress point for the age group who view it as a social barrier and for many it is still beyond reach. Nobel Hygiene aims to address the social stigma around incontinence and make it more accessible and acceptable for senior citizens to wear it with ease.

This campaign had people donating diapers towards this cause directly on Donate Kart and Nobel Hygiene matched the number and donated an equivalent number of diapers. The campaign started in mid-June 2019 and will go on till 24^th January 2020. So far, 4700 senior citizens have benefitted from this campaign by getting Friends adult diapers, a total of 7050 diapers were raised, 3525 of which were raised by Donate Kart and an equivalent amount of this was donated by Nobel Hygiene.

Also Read: INCONTINENCE – THE TABOO NO ONE SPEAKS ABOUT

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